Integrating a Healthy Masculine: Healing A Father Wound
The father wound is a human and spiritual experience that often emerges from the absence, neglect, emotional unavailability, or abuse from our fathers or other paternal figures.
When a woman has an unhealed father wound, she often overidentifies with patriarchal values in order to receive validation, attention and acceptance from men. This shows up as controlling, performance/productivity based, hypersexual and emotionally detached behavior.
The father wound disrupts one’s relationship to masculine energy. It impacts how we hold space for structure, boundaries, confidence, and purpose. It can show up as fear of authority, distrust of men, or over-identifying with hyper-independence.
The father wound impacts how one sees power, leadership, and external validation and the ways women contort themselves in order to avoid conflict or violence. In a patriarchal society, father wounds are often unspoken due to the socialized norm of emotional suppression and the decreased capacity for vulnerable expression in men
The impact of the father wound can be profound and long-lasting, especially when unacknowledged. It often shows up as:
Low self-worth: Without a consistent or affirming father figure, many struggle with feeling “enough,” lovable, or worthy of support.
Difficulty with boundaries: People may overextend themselves in relationships or tolerate mistreatment, seeking the validation they didn’t receive.
Fear of abandonment or intimacy: The wound can create deep fear around trusting others, leading to either emotional detachment or anxious attachment.
Strained relationships with masculine energy: Whether internally (inner critic, burnout from overdoing) or externally (conflict with male figures), unresolved father wounds often create tension around power, protection, and support.
Internalized patriarchy: Especially for women and femmes, the wound can manifest in overidentifying with harmful masculine norms (like emotional suppression, control, or performance-based value) as a means of survival.
At its core, the father wound often leads to a distorted sense of safety and identity—impacting how one relates to self, others, and the world. Healing it is a path to reclaiming emotional wholeness, relational balance, and a deeper sense of belonging.
In this month's offering for the Dark Femme Collective, we'll learn about how the unhealed father wound prevents women from having healthy relationships with themselves and the men in our lives. We will reflect on our childhood experiences with our fathers and dream up a new world where healthy masculine energy leads us closer to collective liberation, leaving behind our current society that is dominated by the unhealed masculine.
Members will be guided through a journey to connect to the healed masculine within them that provides a safe space for leadership, spiritual protection and a equitable sharing of resources void of power and control.
This offering is for current members only.